I am currently studying the Book of Esther and I am so grateful for Chapter 4.
Right now I am in a season of the unknown — uncertain of what God’s next steps are for my life. During this resting phase, I have been learning that many of my old subconscious beliefs and emotional patterns were actually protecting me from exposure, visibility, humiliation, criticism, and rejection. As a result, I spent much of my life isolated, playing it safe, and simply coasting through life instead of truly living with purpose.
Resigning from my job in early 2026 after eight years was not an easy decision, but deep down I knew it was time. Time to let go and trust God with the trajectory of my life.
As I reflected on previous chapters in the book of Esther, specifically Chapter 2, I recognized that Esther experienced a hidden season of preparation before stepping into her purpose. Before she was seen publicly, she was being refined privately — through beauty treatments, coachability, self-control, wisdom, and understanding timing. God prepared her before being positioned.
And honestly, I see myself in that.
In this resting season, God has also been preparing me. I have spent time focusing on self-care: strength training, eating healthier, refreshing my accounting knowledge, healing emotionally, confronting old thought patterns that no longer serve me, and most importantly, drawing closer to God through His Word.
At times, this season has felt uncomfortable because growth often requires us to leave behind what once made us feel safe. Sometimes we resist because the process feels unfamiliar, but I am learning that it is in the discomfort where transformation begins.
Chapter 4 was a turning point for me, just as it was for Esther, when Mordecai said to Esther, “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” — Esther 4:14 NIV.
It made me realize that my life is not accidental. Despite my upbringing, despite rejection, difficult seasons — God has kept me. He never abandoned me. Even when I could not see it, He was preparing me … for such a time as this.
When I resigned from my job, I did not know exactly what would happen next, but like Esther, I reached a place of surrender “if I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16 NIV) — whatever happens, happens. I reached a place where I understood that purpose often requires courage, obedience, and to trust in God’s plan even when the outcome is uncertain.
So far, through the grace of God, He has sustained me.
But I know that it does not end there because purpose requires exposure to fulfill what God has positioned me for. I am learning that faith sometimes means moving forward without having all the answers. It means trusting that God is faithful even when the path ahead is unclear and committing to obedience when it challenges my comfort or understanding.
This season has taught me that courage is terrifying, but disobedience to God is even more terrifying. Although I do not know exactly where God is leading me yet, I do know this: I was created for a purpose; like Esther, this hidden season is not in vain, and God is preparing me for something greater than I can currently see.
I just wanted to encourage someone who is currently in their “Esther era” who feels hidden, fearful, or stuck in survival mode. This is for us.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.” — Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
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